So, tonight, I took a very large step.
Albeit a staggering one.
I texted someone and asked them for The Score. After several Buds.
I felt I was owed an explanation. There was a Moment and a lot got left unsaid. Now it's been said.
I can't help but feel I've not so much closed a window, as smashed it with a brick and boarded over it.
Part of me is glad - It's out. It's black and white. I can't misinterpret texts, gestures, signals, anything like that.
So why the FUCK is part of me cold inside?
Have I seriously been clinging to some misguided fucking hope that I may have any sort of chance with this woman?
Later, I have a lot of explaining to do. Said explanation will probably involve the words "Dutch courage."
If I keep telling myself I now know, and thats what I wanted, I might believe it.