Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Missiles In The Air / Mutually Assured Destruction #25

So, tonight, I took a very large step.

Albeit a staggering one.

I texted someone and asked them for The Score. After several Buds.

Why?

I felt I was owed an explanation. There was a Moment and a lot got left unsaid. Now it's been said.

I can't help but feel I've not so much closed a window, as smashed it with a brick and boarded over it. 

Part of me is glad - It's out. It's black and white. I can't misinterpret texts, gestures, signals, anything like that.

So why the FUCK is part of me cold inside?

Have I seriously been clinging to some misguided fucking hope that I may have any sort of chance with this woman?

Later, I have a lot of explaining to do. Said explanation will probably involve the words "Dutch courage."

If I keep telling myself I now know, and thats what I wanted, I might believe it.